Just some thoughts

So I haven't posted anything in a long time and I'm not going to make an excuse why because I don't have one. I'm sitting here in my thumper pajama pants and my NFC championship packer t shirt with my hair up and glasses on watching Kim and Kourtney take NYC under a huge purple fuzzy blanket cuz I've been sick since last Wednesday. And it's Thursday night. I'm so tired of being sick, it's so draining(obviously) I'm not quite sure what I want to talk about but I just want to talk. I've been through a lot lately. Way too much that I'd like to have. I feel like my mind has been on overdrive for the past couple months. I don't even know why I'm so sad or I don't even wanna call it being sad or depressed. I don't know what it is. I feel blahh. I feel like there's nothing exciting anymore, like there's nothing to look forward to anymore. I feel like I'm going through life with no direction about what I want to do. I have nothing fun in my life anymore, I know that sounds drastic but it's true. At times there are things that make it better and make me happy but it never lasts. I need something or someone just to set me over the edge and make me happy. I feel like I have no friends, no real friends at least. I have the friends that I can joke around with and can sit at lunch with, but not the ones that I can tell everything to. I want friends like that. I find myself sitting alone on the weekends envying those who have that. I don't like school, it makes me sick. Seeing all the happy couples and cute cheerleaders(excuse me "poms") parading around with their boy toys and people with their fake relationship makes me want to kill myself. The school work and homework shit is just a waste of my time. I'm tired of sitting in class and pretending to be learning about useless crap that I don't care about. School isn't for me. I know one of my previous posts might be contradicting to that last comment but I don't care. As I sit here and type this post I'm dreading thinking about going to school tomorrow. I honestly don't care about anything anymore. Well I'm not exactly sure what to talk about anymore so I'm gonna go. I'll talk to you guys later.