Please listen

The silence is ringing in my ears. The silent front that your giving me. Why must you look at me with those addictingly pitiful eyes. Why must you keep me waiting and wondering. I can't wait an eternity. Please make up your mid, I don't know if I can go another night with no sleep. Just listen to what I'm saying for once , pull your ego out of the way and listen to me... Stop talking and listen to how fast my heart beats when your around.
Do you see the jealousy in my eyes when you look at me? Does she? Don't make this about her. Dont look at me when your thinking of her. Don't say my name when you wish you were saying hers. It's okay to say no, just get it over with. Ill be fine but I wont let you see it any other way. I'll make sure your happy even if I can't be with you... I'll keep my mind bolted shut so you can't find a way inside, not that you would even try. I'll miss your kisses and the way you would hold me, but I'll be alright. As long as your happy I'll be fine...

Faces

I wear many faces, some way too old to fit the girl glued to the back of them. I keep all of these faces in a secret little box, stashed away where no one can find it. It's murky in there, overcast with feelings and thoughts I dont let anyone see. Not that anyone cares to go looking. No one wants to know what bothers me. Too hung up on their own problems. Sometimes I think I should go looking for my true face. So I open that box, search inside. But no matter how hard I search for it, I can never find me...

I want you to understand

I wish that for one day someone could walk in my shoes, see things through my eyes, feel everything that I do, be able to know everything that goes through my head. Good or bad. I want you to understand what my day is like. I want you to understand what your words do to me. I want you to understand these depressing thoughts that go through my head all the time. I want you to feel what I feel when I think about what you say to me. I want you to understand everything. Don't think for one second that your words don't hurt. 

What am I afraid of losing when I have nothing?

Everyone still can't see past my fake smile and look down deep to see the real me for once.
Do they even want to?

I can say I have friends. Just "friends"
Not the kind of friends that will notice when I'm having a bad day though.
Just the friends that want to take you along for your oppinion cuz they know that you won't say something bad about them.

I've become a good liar.
I can lie straight to your face and you don't care enough to tell whether or not I'm lying.
You don't care enough to reach out to me.

But did I ever try to reach out to you?
No.
Did I ever call you at 2AM because I couldn't sleep because I had way too much on my mind?
Did I ever roll my sleeve up and show you my scars so you would actually see them for once and not hide them?
No.
Did I ever make an attempt to talk to you about myself?
No.
So I guess I can't blame just you.

Updateee!

I'm soo sorry I haven't been able to put up a new post in awhile but I've been crazyy busy with school and family and all that stuff. I'm probably in the 5th-ish week of my Freshmen year and I love it, well some of it. I'm okay with the classes and I am currently passing all of them with an A. I hate to say that I have already fallen hard for someone... I know what your thinking. "You just started school and you already like someone?!?!" I know, I know. I've heard it all, but I'm okay with it. Somewhat. Oh and his name is Chris and he asked me to Homecoming and I guess thats how it all started. I have a slight feeling that he may be playing me...but then again when I asked a couple of his friends, they all said he's not like that at all...Well let's hope not...
This past weekend I got to see my niece that I haven't seen in awhile, and it was alot of fun =]
So I'm not exactly sure what else to talk about, so I'm gonna go get started on my History homework. So bye for now =]

High School

Well from the picture I'm pretty sure you can guess what I'm going to talk about. HIGH SCHOOL!! Yes I am currently a Freshman...

Well Tuesday September 1st was my first day of high school, and everything that could go wrong...did go wrong...

So ya know I just did my normal morning routine and what I thought was a good time to leave the house to leave for school was wayyy off. I got to school around 10 minutes before the bell would ring. So of course I can't get my locker open for like 3 minutes(and I might add that at Freshman orientation they gave me the wrong locker combo so I never got to look and find any of my classes because I spent the whole time messing around with my locker) and then I get my stuff and try to find my first class which of course I couldn't find. And I also might add that my school only has 2 floors but since I didn't get to find my classes at orientation I had absolutely no clue where my first class was and which was on the second floor. So I had to ask one of the office ladies to help me find my class and I walk in late and everyone stares at me...

That was pretty much how my entire day went...I couldn't get in my locker so I was late to almost EVERY SINGLE CLASS...what a great first impression right...?

So walking through the halls and seeing all of the upperclassmen is definatly intimidating...but I hate to say it but try not to get in anyones way, I mean in my experience so far I'm already running late to class I don't need to be arguing with a Junior because I ran into her in the hall.

So I will run down my schedule with you.

1st hour- English

2nd hour- PE(which will suck)

3rd hour- Applied Science

4th hour- Lunch(10:25)

5th hour- Algebra

6th hour- World History

7th hour- Art

8th hour- Study Hall(which is awesome!)

So and tomorrow which is September 3rd I will hopefully be going to my first high school football game as a Freshman, so that will be exciting =]

Well I don't think theres anything else that I wanted to talk about so I think I'm going to wrap this up.

So bye guys! =]

- Aimee

Well I thought about you today...

I thought about our past.

We were best friends and no we don't even talk.

I remember the way you said "I love you"

Or the way you slipped your hand in mine.

Or our long list of songs that reminded us of each other.

You have no idea how much I miss you...

Do you care?

Do you have no regret?

Whats become of you and me?

I wonder if you think about me...

Or do you just refer to me as a mistake in your past?

I know we're going our seperate ways.

We have different dreams and goals but I can still wish...

Many things have changed and I know I won't see you again...

I know I won't forget what we had...

I know I will miss you like crazy...

And I know you won't forget me...

Ink Splattered Canvas. Part 1

The day you are born you let your mind become a blank open canvas to let innocent pictures be painted upon. Child like pictures spreading throughout the pure white canvas. Pictures of puppies and kittens, swinging on the swings, or pictures of mommy and daddy. Your little naive mind thinks that the whole world revolves around you mom and dad, and it does. For now. A few years later your woken up to the sounds of yelling and screaming coming from your parents. Angry slurred words coming from dad, and demanding heartbroken words from mom. You didn't think it could happen. You didn't understand why daddy yelled at mommy so much. And just for those few hours of non-stop fighting your mind suddenly becomes clouded, your thoughts become jumbled and confused. And your pictures of mommy and daddy suddenly have splatters of black ink all over them. Your views of them have changed and they're not your super hero's anymore...

                                                          

Merry go round of emotions

When I started I said there would be no strings attatched... I lied... There is two very emotional headstrong strings that love to toy with my emotions. Two strings, that I can't seem to let go of. Everytime I try to let go of them they always seem to find my weakness and give me every reason in the book not to leave. And once again I'm sucked back into this merry go round of emotions. Spinning round and round...